Vacation, a State of Mind?

It is summertime, so you know what that means?  The summer vacation stories are coming out of the mouths of neighbors, friends, and moms of your kids’ classmates.  There are stories of cruises, beaches and lands far, far away.  I listen with a smile on my face to hide my all encompassing envy.  This will be year number 3 of no vacation for us.  It really should be number 4, but we bit the bullet and took a vacation in 2009 for a family wedding and reunion.  I know in the grand scheme of things this is pretty low on the pity list.  And in the grand scheme of things our life this summer is not bad.

To be totally honest I don’t know if I really want a vacation.  Now, I should admit that if someone offered great childcare so that SoHubby and I could go on a fabulous no cares vacation I would be drooling and packed before they could say, “The kids are fine.”  That is a long shot.  Any vacation right now would involve cranky kids, a husband connected to electronic gadgets and one stressed out mom.  Which makes me think that we have been conditioned to WANT a vacation.  Who really wants to pack for 5 people, cram everyone into a car for hours, listen to kids fight over who didn’t touch whom and then do it in reverse with the prize being a mountain of laundry.  Sure there are good times to be had in between, but is it worth the money, time and aggravation to take this freak show on the road?  I say, NO.

My goal for summer, as the kids have gotten older. is to keep them just busy enough as to not want to kill each other.  At the point of wanting to shove the kids in their rooms for the rest of their lives, we are off to a schedule activity or the pool.  Oh the pool, it has miracle powers.  It makes children stop fighting and tired.  Some have said our schedule is crazy.  I say it is the only thing keeping us sane.  We have cabbage ball (it is larger than a softball and hirlarious to watch small children run around like crazed research monkeys who just escaped from the lab), Ta Kwon Do (where small children beat the hell out of each other), gymnastics (the de-energizer) , and library storytime (aka another adult entertains your child while you play on your smartphone).  Then there is the glorious pool.  I joined the fitness center for the pool.  You could easily kill 2/3 hours at the pool and not even blink.  The pool is the saving grace of summer.  The bonus is that if I can throw myself out of bed early enough in the morning, I can have a couple of hours of childfree time.  You would be amazed what an hour on the treadmill watching Will and Grace can do for your mood.  It is no Disney cruise, but our schedule full of activities is making summer much less torture chamber bidding time before school starts and more I can’t kill you today, because it is POOL TIME!

I don’t know how the kids feel about any of this.  I think Amber is the only one that really remembers us taking regular vacations.  Although, Amber and Sam both talk about the family reunion in Tennessee often.  Sam is heavily influenced by the commercials.  I simply pat him on the head and say maybe someday we will go to Atlantis.  Evie has no clue.  I think her first real hotel stay was our recent cheer competition in Biloxi, MS.  That sets the bar really low for her.  It does hurt some to tell the kids that we won’t be doing Disney anytime soon, but look at the stuff I have to distract them with.  The one thing I can say with certainty is that their summers are a 100 times better than any of my summers as a kid.  So we will stay home and keep with our activity heavy schedule to keep us busy during the summer.  If you pass me and wonder what is behind that smile on my face, just know that I am thinking no packing, no mountainous laundry, no long car rides with screaming kids, no cranky off routine kids and I get to sleep in my own bed at night.  It isn’t quite the same as a beach front condo on the beach of Destin, but I know for sure I won’t be eaten by a shark.

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We Don’t Speak the Same Language

SoHubby and I have been married for 11 years this October and have known each other for 13 years.  You would think that we would understand each other, maybe even finish each other’s sentences.  You would be wrong.

Since Sam has, finally, started his own activity (something that SoHubby is really happy he is doing) SoHubby has asked what is our schedule.  This is not to say that he is not interested in Amber’s activities, but her schedule has been about the same for about a year.  We are, also, coming to the end of the school year so things are changing once again.  One thing about kids change is constant.

I tried to explain the schedule, but it didn’t get through.  I will say my fault in this was giving too much information.  Instead of just giving the schedule for right now, I tried to give the schedule for the summer.  That is difficult, because Sam will start Cabbage ball in mid June which will mess with Tae Kwon Do which just made matters worse.  Once I realized my mistake I thought I would make it simple by  pointing to the dry erase calendar I bought specifically for this purpose.  It still didn’t get through.  The calendar, in SoHubby’s words, is hard to understand.  I guess it is because the writing is small (I only have so much room to work with) and I put the things that happen on a weekly basis at the bottom with the day and time next to them.  The kids and I seem to get it, but SoHubby didn’t.  So to help him understand it, he took a pad and wrote the days of the week and then wrote what happened on those days.

All of this got me thinking.  We have always had a problem with communication.  I won’t blame either side.  SoHubby says things and they are clear in his head, but I am left confused.  I say things that are totally clear to me and the rest of the free world, but leave him confused.  I will fully admit that SoHubby will say things and I will promptly forget them.  Hey, have you seen our schedule?  I have a lot going on. I just wonder if this goes on in other homes or after a decade together people just understand their mates better than we do?

I, also, wonder if I really want someone that knows what I am thinking.  I often say that my head is a scary place to be.  I know I definitely don’t want to be privy to what is rattling around in SoHubby’s head, because what he tells me is scary enough.  It will be interesting to see how our communication has developed after we have been together over 20 years.

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Netflix vs the Movie Rental Store

Netflix has pissed me off for the last time.  My only regret is that I didn’t cancel them completely at the end of August.  Netflix was a great concept, then they got cocky.  Yeah, yeah, you are going to tell me that movie producers and God forced their hand to jack up prices.  Or that they are having contract troubles and that is why their streaming sucks so hard.  I call bullshit.  I think Netflix is big enough that they have some power.  However, I really don’t care.  I maybe the lowly consumer, but I have some power, too.  And that power is to cancel Netflix and go old school.

I am old enough to remember going to the movie rental store.  It was so exciting.  We got to walk up and down the aisles choosing which movie we wanted to see.  Then we would race right home and watch it.  Times were good and I was young without the responsibility of getting the movie back in time to avoid a late fee.  As I got older, life’s checklist got longer and time got shorter, which meant late fees got more expensive.

SoHubby and I decided we would just buy movies.  At some point, most movies make it to the $5 bin.  That, my friends, is a long wait.  Us, being part of this fast paced, I had to have it yesterday world, that didn’t work for us.  Then we heard about this great company, Netflix.  You mean they would deliver movies to our house?  There was no special return date?  There was only one low price?  Hot damn!  Sign us up.  And we had a good relationship for awhile.

Suddenly, Netflix started to see it’s stock rise (literally and figuratively) and in my opinion got too big for their britches.  However, my love affair with Netflix started to wane when we went down to the 1 movie and streaming offer.  SoHubby would go on the website and clog up our queue with crap movies.  Movies that at that moment he would have watched, but would forget about by the time they made it to our house.  Here is the journey of a Netflix delivered to the Southern household: Movie arrives in the mail.  Movie is either retrieved from mailbox that night or the next morning.  Movie would then end up in my mail pile. I would get around to my mail pile sometime that day or the next day.  I open movie, say a little curse over it, because it would most likely be a dumb shoot ‘em up movie that SoHubby ordered and place it ontop of the TV or mantel.  Days would go by.  Days turned into weeks.  Weeks turned into a month.  When all of a sudden I spied with my little eye that little red envelope.  Then another curse as I held it up for all to see asking, “How the hell long has this been sitting here.  When are you going to watch this crap, so we can send it back and get a real movie?”  So as you can see folks, Netflix is genius.  They have developed a company where  men and women pay to fight via movie queue and have a little red envelope sits ontop of the TV for a month or longer  Don’t get me started on that crap they call streaming.  Half the time the movie wouldn’t play all the way through without several stops and starts.  Oh but that is our fault, why don’t you upgrade your WiFi.  Yeah, why don’t you bite my….be nice, now.  Then there was no rhyme or reason to the streaming.  One day a top movie would be on there, the next day some D flick you would have to pay me to watch would have taken it’s place.

After the whole rate hike, I was miffed.  I was calmed down with reasons like they had to do it, poor, poor Netflix.  Okay, we can understand the plight of the business when faced with things out of their control.  The dumb move came in when they decided to divide up the streaming side and the DVD side.  Um…exsqueeze me?  Dildo say what?  You expect me to bookmark an entirely different website to put DVDs in my queue?  Oh hell, NO!  I was done, but what could I do.  I wasn’t going to do that Redbox thing.  You want me to do what with my credit card and then you will do what?  Sorry, maybe it is my age, but I am getting the feeling that technology needs to calm down for a bit.  I thought I could just go down to my local Blockbuster.  Oh, but wait!  All the Blockbusters were run out of town by the evil, yet genius Netflix.  Then a light shone over me and the angels sing.

You see I live in a village, next to a couple of small towns.  And one thing that I am constantly told about these small towns and villages is that we are a bunch of hicks that don’t move with the times.  So guess what?  There is a Blockbuster right down a very long highway, but it is there just waiting for us to choose when to get a movie and forces us to watch that damn movie that night to avoid late fees.  The best part is it seems busy, very busy, which means maybe it will stay long enough to build up it’s force, again.   Who is having the last laugh, now?  Well, not the clerk at my local Blockbuster when I told her all this.  Maybe she didn’t appreciate my fine storytelling skills.  Maybe she wasn’t interested?  Nah, that couldn’t be it.  Or maybe she just wanted to get on with her life and didn’t care why the hell I found myself at the Blockbuster with my over energized spawns.  But I felt good.  I finally got to see The Black Swan and go WTF along with everyone else.  I even promised the kids that we could go back on Friday to rent movies and maybe some Wii games.  Then they ran around like I told them Santa Clause was coming to live with us and set up shop in the backyard.  And now my life has come full circle.  We will be release from our prison of the little red envelope back to the freedom of the movie rental store and wait for our implantation of our movie chips.

 

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I Can’t Have All the Answers All the Time

At the ripe old age of 8 years old Amber has fully embraced the art of the Smartass.   I usually have a nice comeback for her, but sometimes she can stump me and those are the times that scare me.  And just for the record, I have no idea where she gets her Smartassness.

Learning her rights:

Scene: The mall.

Amber: I want something.
Me: You may want something, but that doesn’t mean you get something.  Now be quiet.
Amber: I thought this was a free country.
Me: (Pulling her close to me and wrapping my arm around her shoulders) Oh Honey, the country is free, but you are not.
Amber: That sucks.
Me:  And that is a sure fire way to NOT get anything from your mother while at the mall.

Using religion to her advantage:

Scene: Our home.

SoHubby:  You need to learn to take pride in your work.
Amber:  (As she passes me) Pride is one of the seven Deadly Sins.
SoHubby: (Nothing)
Me: *blink blink* (Nothing)

What I should have said, but was so stunned I didn’t think of it in time: Pride maybe one of the seven Deadly Sins, but in the top 10 is “Honor thy mother and father”.  Go do your homework!

Here is where I realize that I don’t always have the answers  when I need them.  Here is where Amber realizes that sometimes she can get me.  Fortunately, she hasn’t realized that she could use those times to her advantage.  Here is where SoHubby realized that he and the boy are royally screwed with 3 females in the house.  The teen years are coming and all hell is about to break loose.  Better get working on that man cave, boys.

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Mother’s Law

“It will only be a few seconds without a diaper.”
It is never just a few seconds when it comes to kids.   And no matter how fast you are the baby will always pee when she is sans diaper.

Just when you are feeling smug about teaching your children the correct word for their private parts, they will shout it out during a quiet moment while you are AT CHURCH!
-”Hey, Mom.  You have a VAGINA!!”

The minute you have finished cleaning the house from top to bottom, someone is going to spill.  If you are lucky, they will get most of it on them.  That is as rare as winning the lottery.

After a long car ride with screaming kids, finally there is quiet and your song comes on the radio.  This will be the time that your child has an urgent question for you.  “Hey Mom, you know that thing we did that time we were at that place where we did all that stuff?”  Your song has ended and you are confused and crying in the front seat of your car.

You are not allowed to have anything nice.  Nuff said!

The moment your clothes hit the floor you are desperately needed to  break up WWIII.  You end up standing in your hallway nude, yelling at the small people while your husband shakes his head and tells you how you are traumatizes the kids.  At least the boy.

The moment someone in public compliments your child’s behavior they turn into a wild rabid monkey that just escaped from the medical lab.  Or Charlie Sheen.

Children will always walk in at the exact moment they shouldn’t.  Applies to all situations.

There will always be one puker  in the bunch.  If you have more than one child, good luck when you discover which one it is and hopefully it is only one.

“I will remember.”  No you won’t.  However, you will be found walking around a room asking why did I come in here.  Or wandering the aisles of the grocery store claiming that you knew what you needed when you walked in.

After a long day of keeping up with the kids and not having one moment to relax, your husband will come home and say, “Wow, it must be nice to sit around watching TV and eating bon bons all day.”  On the bright side, you will have a ton of me time in prison.

Feel free to add your own in the comments. I know I can’t be the only one that has been caught by Mother’s Law.

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Update to Now it is Personal.

I was going to put this as a side note on the Now it is Personal post, but I feel there needs to be more information regarding how our government is running these days.  It goes much further than not reading immigration bills, but deeming them racist and unconstitutional, or pricing capping ATM fees or other products and services.

First, the amendment to the Finance Reform bill that was to cap ATM fees at $.50 was blocked.  According to what I read Senator Harkin couldn’t get it to the floor for debate, because there was more important issues to be discussed.  Although, the time it took for 2 Senators to go back and forth regarding what is important or not was ironic, but I am never one to look a gift horse in the mouth.  So good for us.  That high lasted all of a few hours when we were later informed that there was a new amendment to have the Federal Reserve regulate ATM fees and make sure there was “reasonable” rates.  Okay, this is the same shit just different smell.  It is another way of having ATM fees capped under the illusion of protecting the consumer.  Let the worry begin all over again.  Then today SoHubby calls me to let me know that I can stop building that ulcer in the pit of my stomach, because the Senate has voted on cloture (that means closed) of the Finance Reform bill and nothing regarding ATMs is in the now closed bill.  *phew*  We must not relax those shoulder muscles too much, because this bill has a few more Congressional travels before it reaches vote and a much longer journey before it reaches the President’s desk.  But for the time being it looks as if we are safe from the long arm of the Federal Government reaching into our business and shutting it down.

Second, I came across this article on Twitter and found it interesting.  Basically, it explains how some Senators don’t even use ATMs, even though they walk by an ATM in the basement of the Capitol building which charges $2 a transaction, unless you have an account from the U.S. Senate Federal Credit Union, on their way to vote on the Senate floor.  The most interesting thing is that Sen. Harkin admits to using an ATM (I would venture to guess the one in the Senate building) about every 2 weeks.  First light bulb illuminated that maybe Sen. Harkin and his ATM fee cap amendment was for purely personal reasons.  Which begs the question is he looking out for his best interest of those of Americans?  I will let you decide on that one.  You can probably guess my answer.  The next question is how can these politicians look out for our best interests when they don’t even have the slightest clue of the workings of the everyday of the average American?

Senator Ben Nelson, admitted that he doesn’t even know how to use an ATM and 2 other Republican Senators admitted to only using an ATM a few times in their lives.   Sen. Ben Nelson says he is not totally ignorant regarding everyday experiences of Americans because he knows about “holograms’.  He using them offer when going to stores and checking himself into his own seat when boarding an airplane.  I had to stop, because I was wondering what the hell he was talking about.  What holograms is he using when shopping at Lowe’s or the grocery store?  It is clarified that Sen. Nelson is talking about the bar codes that are scanned when making a purchase or pretty much everywhere out here in the real world.  Where he got holograms I have no idea.  Shouldn’t every person that has ever bought anything in this country know about bar codes?  I mean we have the infamous video of the first President George Bush not knowing how to buy groceries for God’s sake and now we have Senators who don’t know how an ATM works.  How can these people look out for our best interest when they have not one clue what it is to live our daily lives?  I guess that is what you get when you are scooped up as a young lad and spend the rest of your life in the bubble of Washington D.C. Where money just appears magically from the taxpayers pockets and you are not held responsible for how you spend it or anything else.  I think many of these politicians will be very shocked come this November.  Americans are fed up with our government making busy work to make themselves seem useful, not keeping with the clear outlined duties in the Constitution (Article I Section 8), and listening to their real bosses, the American people.  Too long we have  gone unheard and now it is time for a job performance review which will have many high government officials  joining the currently high unemployment rate.  No one is safe, Democrat nor Republican.

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Making Money at Blogging

If you look around, you can tell I don’t make money at blogging so this is not that kind of post.  It would be nice, especially right now, but I don’t have what it takes.  As I have roamed around the blogging community for almost 3 years, now, I have learned that I don’t have what it takes to get millions of page views or PR people knocking down my email.  I believe it is a myth that you have to be a great writer, that blogging is not a full time job and that anyone can make money at blogging.  Oh, but when people hear  what has been passed around as Dooce’s salary they are all clamoring for a blog.  It was a big question on the mommy boards a year or so ago.  People expecting to pick out a blog template and start making the big bucks right away.  Sorry, things in life are never that simple.

I will say that I don’t begrudge  anyone their success, but I will say that for some I don’t get it.  I refuse to name those, because this is not a bashing post and those are simply my opinions, anyway.  I have come across maybe one blogger that I truly like their writing and would say that they are indeed a writer, so being a good writer is not a requirement for blogging success.  However, I do find that the bloggers I read have something that interests me, a hook shall we say.  I don’t think I have that hook, but then again I have come across other bloggers that seem to be living as boring a life as me and have a ton of comments and ads everywhere.  Although, that doesn’t mean they are making a lot of money, just some money.  All I can say for those is that they probably worked it.  Meaning that they have spent time at getting their blogs out there.  I have no idea where to start with that and I don’t have the time.  At this point, I am lucky if I can flush out an idea and have it stick with me until I have a chance to get it on the computer.  I have, also, noticed that even if I can carve out a little time to blog, I have to constantly tell my children to wait.  I will push aside that they only seem to need something as soon as I sit down, open the laptop and start typing, but the guilt is still there.  Other bloggers, who make money, have written about that feeling.  I can only assume that it is easier to deal with that guilty feeling when there is some money, which most of us equate to value, attached.  At least, I am sure I would have an easier time telling my kids to wait if there was money attached.  At the very least, I could shoo them away telling them that I am pecking out a silly story to put food in their mouths.  Alas, I don’t have that luxury, so most times I abandon my blog to tend to their needs.

I will admit I have a bit of jealousy for the big bloggers out there that seem to be making money hand over fist with little effort (isn’t that a compliment when people say you make things look easy?), but the bloggers I am truly jealous of are those that have carved out a career from their blog.  There are a couple of bloggers that I look up to, not because they are fabulously rich, but because they have careers that have developed from their blogs.  They are not making money off their blogs, per se, but their blogs were a jumping off point.  And yes, being able to be more available for their kids than say an office job is something that appeals to me, as well.  Oh I read the blog posts where they are harried and stressed, but it still has it’s appeal.  I do notice that these women do have older children and not babies, which could be a bonus on their part.

The one thing I am happy about having a small little blog is I am left out of the criticism loop.  Bloggers often cry about low comment numbers, but once you reach a certain number you find that people come only to find fault with you.  At this point, you either develop a thick skin or sink under the pressure of the “haters”.  As much as I like a little shit stirring every now and then, I think I would sink under the pressure of constant scrutiny.  So while their are definite perks of making the big bucks with blogging and putting yourself out there, there is, also, very glaring cons.  One blogger, whom I enjoyed (and yes, the controversy was a nice time filler), has since shut down her blog under the weight of criticism.  I believe she was on her way to making a nice monthly income from her blog.  I guess in the end the money was not as important as her sanity or having her family constantly criticized.  We all have such decisions to make and some can  handle the dissenters with grace and others know when it is better to leave the stage.

There is money to be made in the blogging world, but like most things you need to pay your dues, fight up the ladder and keep fighting to keep your position.  Who knows what the future holds for blogging?  Many had said that mommy blogging had it’s time, but there are many so-called mommy bloggers moving to other media or expanding from their blog.  Such is life, you either hang on for the ride or let go and see where you fall, either way there will always be someone ready to take your place and run with it.

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No Rest for the Weary: Catholic School Edition

The recession is in full swing down here in the Deep South which means that people are shuffling kids around from expensive private schools, which garner “oohs and aahs” when mentioned, to mildly expensive Catholic schools.  I have only looked at 4 Catholic schools and I am beat.  It is hard work showing up to Open Houses to take in all the information that comes at lightening speed.   Then there is keeping the different programs straight, “NO! That is not the school that offers chess club and advanced academics.”  “NO! This is the school that has the pre-3s across the street in the back and around the corner.”  At one point, I thought of throwing up my hands just sending the kids to public school, then taking the money that we would save on private school and going to Disney World.  I had to come back down to earth and think of reminding my daughter of the wonderful trip we took to Disney World while she held a steak, which we could afford because, duh, the kids are in public school, on her black eye.  You think I kid?  Well, I do to some extent, but not really.

The act of sending kids to Catholic school is very imbedded in the New Orleans culture.  Since the Americans took over our land in 1803, we have had a distrust of the “American Public School system” and prefer to leave the educating of our children to private and, mostly, Catholic schools.  If you don’t live down here, you might roll your eyes and think us ridiculous.  I am here to tell you that you will found all walks of life with kids in private schools down here.  So, please put away your accusations of a non-diversified student body and images of rich brats away.  You might get that with your more hoity-toity schools, but in general our private schools and, particularly our Catholic schools are diverse and incorporate teachings of many different topics.  There are even kids who go to the Catholic school and aren’t even Catholic.  *gasp*  Hell, I was told on one school tour that they had Muslim students as well.  All that is required of these students is that they learn about the Catholic religion, and be respectful when in Mass.  Which is why I can’t understand why the minority in public schools make a fuss over something they disagree with when they can just respectfully agree to disagree.  Whatever, the point is that many feel that Catholic schools give a better education at better prices and I have, finally, joined this group.

We are Catholic and we are active in our church, so going to a Catholic school is no big deal for my kids.  Actually, it will cut down on the amount of running and studying I will have to do for the kids to fulfill their religious requirements.  Try to explain the 10 Commandments to a second-grader, especially the one about adultery, along with the rest of the stuff we have going on.  We did it, but I think once the kids are being taught everyday in school that it will get much easier than their parents trying to cram it in an hour before religion class.  It will become second nature, which is not a bad thing.  I will admit here and now, that I, SoMo, should have started Amber into Catholic school at the ripe old age of 3 years old.  There I said it.  I can admit when I am wrong, but it is fleeting and I reserve the right to deny it, later.  Even if it is written on the Internet.    However, I must move pass my peeshaw moment and realize that we all live and learn.   

It was really a fluke on how I found the school that the kids will be going to come the new school year.  A friend called me to come to an Open House to, I guess, pick my brain on how this school measured up to Amber’s current school.  The call came at a good time, because I was very worried about having both kids in the current school at a tuition of $15,000 a year for both.   I think we can agree that it did, because when I took the tour and saw the prices, I wondered why did I get my tubes tied.  At these prices I could have been more fruitful.  Alas, the procedure is done and my uterus is closed for business.  I am not really shedding any tears over this, just for the record.  In an effort of equal time, I decided to tour other schools, but none really measured up to the first one I saw.  I do have a runner-up, just in case my darling children for some reason don’t get in to our first choice.  Sounds like we are searching for colleges, doesn’t it?  This is why I will probably leave that very important choice entirely up to my kids.  Nope, just your average Catholic education in a city that probably has more Catholic schools than McDonalds.  It wasn’t an easy decision and at one point I had to bring SoHubby in on the process.  Oh he scoffed at my gushing over the Chosen School’s library, until he saw the other school libraries at which he would whisper to me, “Is this it?”  Really?  I got the eye roll when I practically jumped for joy at the warm and inviting library of the Chosen School.  In the end, SoHubby’s eyes glazed over and I think I saw a little bit of grey matter ooze out the side of his head.  I think he secretly wished that I just left him out of it and made it all on mine own.  Oh, but I know better than that, because when the time comes to bitch about something, and it always does, regarding the school, I can simply give him the look that says, “Shut it, we were both there, so don’t be putting all the blame on me.”  Registration is taking place, soon, then will come the interview process,  the acceptance and tuition payment which means I can breathe come sometime in July.  Now, to prepare Sam for this whole ordeal.  You know the one that can’t get new shoes or underwear without a therapy session, a Valium and a promise of King Cake if he just does it already.  Wish me luck or send help if you don’t hear from me come September.

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A Rose by Any Other Name Smells Just as Sweet

I have had a few problems with Evie’s name.  Mainly, people pronouncing it wrong, even after I have said it to them.  I try not to get too bitchy about it, because I am dealing with Southern accents and a name that many haven’t heard before.  Then I discovered the problem, yesterday, while on the phone, with all people, our financial advisor. 

He asked how to spell her middle name, which is fairly common, but not about her first name, fairly uncommon.  So I asked, “Do you need me to spell her first name?”  “No”, was his reply.  I was stunned, how did he get so smart that he didn’t need to spell my daughter’s beautiful, unique, classic name?  So I asked and he answered, “Isn’t it spelled like the parish?”  Huh?  What?  My baby already has a parish named after her.  Apparently, somewhere in the middle of the state of Louisiana near Mamou (I dare you to try and say that name, HA), there is a parish (county to those who don’t come or live in Louisiana, those pesky French) named Evangeline.  That wasn’t the end of my lesson, “Ya’ll say it different though.”  Really, I might be all upset with people and I could be the one wrong all along.  No way, because I am never wrong.  “Yeah, ya’ll say EvangeLINE and the parish is called EvangeLYNN.”  *smacks head*  And here I thought it was just a bunch of lazy Southern tongues.   To add to my misery there is an EvangeLEEN in the new movie “The Princess and the Frog” (A great movie, by the way).  It hasn’t started, yet, but I am sure I am going to run across someone that after I say, EvangeLINE, they will return with, EvangeLEEN. 

I don’t want to be a total turd by constantly correcting the way people say my child’s name, but I am wondering if Evie will ever come when she is called with 3 different pronunciations out there.  Then again, the other 2 have common names that no one messes up and they don’t come when I call either.  I guess Evie will just have a better excuse.

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Baby’s First Spa Treatment

It has been 5 weeks since my last pedicure and in true SAHM eating bons bons pampered fashion I was jonesing for some feet TLC.  I was also sick of looking down, now that I can see my feet, and seeing a clump of snaggle toes.  A couple of weeks back I stubbed my toe on the rolling laundry basket and broke one of my big toe nails.  That meant that I had to remove my nail polish and start hacking away at my nails, because I can’t have one nail half broken.  That would not look right.  Nevermind that after I chopped off the tops of my nails, I looked like a badger had gotten a hold of my foot.  No matter, I was no longer a slave to my sandals and flip flops, because I can actually bend at the waist and have normal size feet.  I would just keep them in tennis shoes for awhile.  Well, that worked for awhile until the day came I wanted to wear something open toed (no know, something nice other than tennis shoes) and thought that the sight of my feet might actually cause people to wretch.  Right then and there, I decided that I would get me a pedicure at any cost.

I figured Evie is at the stage where she sleeps, eats and poops.  No problem, right?  I would just tuck her into the sling and I could enjoy an hour of someone working their magic on making my feet lovely to look at ,again.  I have learned after 7 years and 3 kids, that when you have kids there are some compromises that have to be made when it comes to things that you need want to do.  Sure I thought about the time where she might want to eat, but I have that covered.  *ahem* Or maybe uncovered is a better choice of words, as a veteran of nursing in public (NIP).  I have nursed many places, so why not the spa.  I mean there are totally naked women behind some of those doors.  I am sure a boob with a baby attached wouldn’t be such a surprised in this arena.  And it wasn’t.

What I didn’t count on was that Evie seems to be advanced, or my memory is failing due to momnesia.  I think it is the latter.  Evie has become more animated, lately.  She is not sleeping most of the day, anymore, and it is getting more difficult to get her to sleep.  I have discovered that her pattern is eat, burp, scream her head off, then sleep.  So, yeah, that scream her head off part was something I should have considered before making my selfish pedicure appointment.  In the end, things went pretty well.  There were some tense moments where I thought this was it, she is going to scream non-stop and I will have to walk out of the spa with half my nails done.   She did fuss a bit at the end, but I was able to walk out with fully painted toenails.  Next time I will be leaving her with her father, no matter how much he protest.  Sure she is a boobie baby, but there is milk in the freezer and I am sure she will stop screaming before I get back.  All that screaming makes a baby tired, so eventually she will fall asleep.

In other news, I came home to find Lord of the Flies going on in my home.  When SoHubby “watches” the kids in the mornings, when I have an appointment, he is in the back office and the kids are left in the house.  I never use to worry, because Sam could usually be counted on to watch TV until I got home.  Since Evie came along, I have asked him to get a few things for himself.  Well, this has opened up a whole new world for him.  All it takes is a knowledge of the location of juice, snacks and a stool and he is sitting in 3.5 year old boy heaven.  I walk into the house to find Sam with a pack of Oreos, the stool positioned by the fridge and something very gross on the doorknob.  This, and a couple of mornings where I had to take a nap (falling asleep while driving Amber to school) and he went out the garage door to the office, for me to realize that I can no longer trust that Sam will just play in the playroom or watch TV.  We are living in a new world and I am not too happy.  Adjustments must be made.  I go to sleep when the kids go to bed, at 7pm.  Ask me how happy that makes me.  Not very, but, at least, it is working at preventing me from driving into a ditch, canal, or off a bridge in the morning.  And I will have to lock Sam and SoHubby in the office.  Don’t even go there with me giving up my early morning, once a month, appointments to the spa.  There are so few things I can do without the kids around and if I lose anymore, I might just lose my mind, completely.

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