Making Money at Blogging

If you look around, you can tell I don’t make money at blogging so this is not that kind of post.  It would be nice, especially right now, but I don’t have what it takes.  As I have roamed around the blogging community for almost 3 years, now, I have learned that I don’t have what it takes to get millions of page views or PR people knocking down my email.  I believe it is a myth that you have to be a great writer, that blogging is not a full time job and that anyone can make money at blogging.  Oh, but when people hear  what has been passed around as Dooce’s salary they are all clamoring for a blog.  It was a big question on the mommy boards a year or so ago.  People expecting to pick out a blog template and start making the big bucks right away.  Sorry, things in life are never that simple.

I will say that I don’t begrudge  anyone their success, but I will say that for some I don’t get it.  I refuse to name those, because this is not a bashing post and those are simply my opinions, anyway.  I have come across maybe one blogger that I truly like their writing and would say that they are indeed a writer, so being a good writer is not a requirement for blogging success.  However, I do find that the bloggers I read have something that interests me, a hook shall we say.  I don’t think I have that hook, but then again I have come across other bloggers that seem to be living as boring a life as me and have a ton of comments and ads everywhere.  Although, that doesn’t mean they are making a lot of money, just some money.  All I can say for those is that they probably worked it.  Meaning that they have spent time at getting their blogs out there.  I have no idea where to start with that and I don’t have the time.  At this point, I am lucky if I can flush out an idea and have it stick with me until I have a chance to get it on the computer.  I have, also, noticed that even if I can carve out a little time to blog, I have to constantly tell my children to wait.  I will push aside that they only seem to need something as soon as I sit down, open the laptop and start typing, but the guilt is still there.  Other bloggers, who make money, have written about that feeling.  I can only assume that it is easier to deal with that guilty feeling when there is some money, which most of us equate to value, attached.  At least, I am sure I would have an easier time telling my kids to wait if there was money attached.  At the very least, I could shoo them away telling them that I am pecking out a silly story to put food in their mouths.  Alas, I don’t have that luxury, so most times I abandon my blog to tend to their needs.

I will admit I have a bit of jealousy for the big bloggers out there that seem to be making money hand over fist with little effort (isn’t that a compliment when people say you make things look easy?), but the bloggers I am truly jealous of are those that have carved out a career from their blog.  There are a couple of bloggers that I look up to, not because they are fabulously rich, but because they have careers that have developed from their blogs.  They are not making money off their blogs, per se, but their blogs were a jumping off point.  And yes, being able to be more available for their kids than say an office job is something that appeals to me, as well.  Oh I read the blog posts where they are harried and stressed, but it still has it’s appeal.  I do notice that these women do have older children and not babies, which could be a bonus on their part.

The one thing I am happy about having a small little blog is I am left out of the criticism loop.  Bloggers often cry about low comment numbers, but once you reach a certain number you find that people come only to find fault with you.  At this point, you either develop a thick skin or sink under the pressure of the “haters”.  As much as I like a little shit stirring every now and then, I think I would sink under the pressure of constant scrutiny.  So while their are definite perks of making the big bucks with blogging and putting yourself out there, there is, also, very glaring cons.  One blogger, whom I enjoyed (and yes, the controversy was a nice time filler), has since shut down her blog under the weight of criticism.  I believe she was on her way to making a nice monthly income from her blog.  I guess in the end the money was not as important as her sanity or having her family constantly criticized.  We all have such decisions to make and some can  handle the dissenters with grace and others know when it is better to leave the stage.

There is money to be made in the blogging world, but like most things you need to pay your dues, fight up the ladder and keep fighting to keep your position.  Who knows what the future holds for blogging?  Many had said that mommy blogging had it’s time, but there are many so-called mommy bloggers moving to other media or expanding from their blog.  Such is life, you either hang on for the ride or let go and see where you fall, either way there will always be someone ready to take your place and run with it.

MY Problem with Blogging

I found myself in the middle of Starbucks semi-yelling toward my husband about another contest I lost and how it must be rigged and it is no fair that she gets all these readers while I sit in oblivion.  I might as well have been my 2 year old son stomping his feet and screaming because I wasn’t getting exactly what I thought I deserved.  Seeing as I have a little more time on this earth over my son, I am scared by that statement: “Getting what I deserve”.  Do I really want what I deserve and what the hell would it be that I deserve?  Maybe it is not a million page views a month, but a deadly computer virus that jumps from my screen and eats my face.

When I pressed that button at the top of the Blogger page, I thought a blog would be a nice place to write some of my thoughts.  As I pointed out in one of my first posts, my usual place on the Net wasn’t cutting it.  Beside, I could control this little part of the Interweb.  Oh, how wrong and naive I was/am.  I can control what I write, but not what others do.  And after that realization, maybe I am more happy with being in my little corner going unnoticed.  I have come to the conclusion that I am neither a Blogger nor a writer.  I am a woman with kids who knows how to type words and get it onto the Internet.  Let’s face there are 5 yr olds doing it and probably better.

Sure it is hard to feel all great about being invisible when you read all the great posts about BlogHer.  I mean there were parties, shopping, nude bathing, and merriment overfilling the streets of San Francisco.   Then the reality kicks in and I know exactly what I would have been doing at the conference: becoming majorly lost, not speaking for fear a bone would fly out and knock out one of the GOOD bloggers, I would never nude bathe with anyone, and I would generally be in bed by 8pm, because I don’t drink and I get really tired in my old age.  But again, it didn’t squelch those feelings of missing out on something big.  I do have tentative plans to make it to the whatever it is BlogHer is bringing to New Orleans, but I make no promises.  And I  don’t know if I will be wearing my daring SoBloU shirts.  I think maybe it would be nice to meet some bloggers that actually live within swinging a dead cat distance.  (So please, pretty please with a cherry on top, if you live in this area and blog consider going.  If only to point and laugh at the girl chasing a wayward toddler wearing a totally inappropriate shirt.  I can’t guarantee that I will talk to you, but I will be wishing I was you.)

I stumbled upon some, hmmmmm…how should I put it, anti blogs.  That makes me feel all warm and gushy inside.  The thought is brought up time and time, again, and not just on these blogs, that those that get money from their blogs, and are mommybloggers, are exploiting their children.  I don’t know how much I agree with that, but it does cause me to pause.  I write about my kids, I show pictures of them and I think I might have shown them in a couple of embarrassing moments,.  However, I don’t make any money off of them, so what does that make me?  A stupid woman?  A whore without a purpose? Or a really sad shell of a human being?  Let’s think on that.  I do wish I would have given this blogging thing more thought, and maybe found more of a purpose other than my kids.  I can’t even lie and say this is a blog to keep in touch with far away family, because seriously, do you think I would ever talk like this toward my family?  The only reason they know about this blog is because my husband, apparently, doesn’t know what, KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF means.

I have my kids on here, because I am surround by them all day and they give me a run for my money, literally and figuratively, EVERY. FREAKIN. DAY.  I have realized that this parenting thing maybe one of the cruelest things that Mother Nature could have ever thought up.  First we go through MAJOR changes to bring this little bundle of noise joy into our lives, then we are suppose to train them to not need us as soon as possible and guess what if we do our jobs right, they don’t need us and live happily ever after.  This process seems to take time, but, as many have told me, not as much time as one would believe.  We teach them to walk and talk and it is all downhill from there.  They are telling us NO!! a million times a day, they are constantly walking away from us, and they definitely don’t need us as much as they use.  Then there are the conversations that we get into that as a grown adult I have to wonder what the hell is going on here.  I went to college and I am debating about Hannah Montana or SpongeBob.  We do have political talks every now and then, but it is usually Amber asking how many days until election day and spotting an Obama t-shirt at Wal-Mart.  I understand that this, too, will change and I have never done well with change.  Just ask my husband who has had to talk me off that ledge many a time before.  However, after all this, I don’t think I am a mommyblogger, because if I am not a blogger then how could I be a mommyblogger?

I just get the feeling that maybe this little selfish part I have for myself is too much of a sacrifice for my kids.  Then again, can’t I just delete it and move on with my life.  I mean my family is not getting supported from this, HA!!.  Sorry had to laugh, because if that was the case we would be homeless stealing Internet connections.  I hope to move on to more lofty ambitions when all my kids are in school.  And I don’t need money to know I contribute to my family and my husband understands this as well.  I do think I need a little pat on the back on occasion.  It is just hard to have someone roll their eyes at the mention of your blog and then start her own, only do to it bigger and better.  It makes me stop to pick the bugs out of my teeth while I eat her dust. 

I know this, I will never be famous in any shape of form.  I will leave that up to my husband.  I will never have the most hits in the blogosphere, because, to put it bluntly, I don’t have that much energy.  The sad fact is I wish it would have fallen in my lap, but what I am discovering is that I would only like the good stuff, please, and none of the bad.  Maybe I will be happy with my little corner and keep entering these freakin contest, hoping to win or give up altogether and just buy the damn prizes, already.  DOH!!  I guess they have won, anyway.

Southern Bloggers Unite

Are you sad and weepy from being unable to attend BlogHer? 

Are you tired of everyone in the Blogsphere talking about BlogHer and how they are going to meet so and so?

Are you unwilling to sell your first born just to attend a conference across the country in a city that would never allow you to walk down the street with alcohol in your hand or maybe get a glimpse at some random woman’s boobs?

Are you really just looking for a way to get away from your kids and husband for a couple of days without packing in the cover of night and sneaking out the door?

Then I have just the thing for you, SoBloU. 

The great and mighty Queen of Shake-Shake has convinced me, with all her whining, to invite her, and anyone else within a good reach of New Orleans, to come on over, get together and have a little fun.  We may not have all the fancy that BlogHer has, but that just means you can spend more money on liquor and great food.  We will, also, have NOLA, whether she knows it or not.  Who else will know where the absinthe can be found?

There won’t be any speakers on how to self host and bring in new members, but I am sure at some point someone will stand up and proclaim their love for the whole table and then promptly fall to the floor. 

There won’t be any great swag bags overfilled with free stuff, but you will learn how to avoid street performers, nudie girl pictures, the lure of the Lucky Dog and how to stumble down a crooked street without spilling your drink. 

You probably won’t meet all those big bloggers that you have been reading for years, secretly in your office late at night, but you will meet some of the most interesting people that ever graced the earth.  You do know that they most interesting people live in the South?  We are kinda too busy not dying from the intense heat.

There won’t be any scheduled events, except maybe the drinking and eating.  Sorry, but that is very important down here and we must keep to a schedule. 

There will be sessions of exploring the French Quarter and Magazine street.  Again, sorry, but if you come on over and I have escaped the company of my husband and kids, I am going to go to Magazine street and shop. DAMMIT!  So you can either come along for the ride and no one gets hurt or you can sneak away and drown your sorrows in one of the many bars that can be found just about anywhere in this city. 

If this interests you and you promise not to blame the missing of a huge Blogger conference in San Francisco on me, then by all means drop me an email or leave a comment.  I will be more than happy to call some hotels, get some rates and have a loosely thrown together agenda ready.

Did I mention that there will be drinking and eating? 

We are planning this for the weekend of July 18-20.  Nope, you read that right. 

Child Style

I know it has been awhile since I posted over there, but I have a new post up, today.  Do you get heart palpatians when you shop for swimsuits for your little girl or girl teenager?  Well, join the club.  Please tell me your position on this heavily debated (and I mean on Mommy boards everywhere) topic.

Overwhelmed or Underwhelmed (because I just don’t care)

For the last few weeks, I have had an internal struggle going on.  I can’t put my finger exactly what is bothering me, but I feel that it has finally caught up with me.  My brain is a mess and I can’t seem to float to the top and figure it all out.  I do know that it is manifesting itself in a surly attitude.  Now, I know that my attitude most times is no Mary Sunshine.  As a matter of fact, I think I shoved her in my Jr. high locker and there she still sits.  However, I don’t have that air of sarcasm or slight humor behind it, right now.  So if you see me and I tell you to go have your way with yourself, you know I mean it. 

I realized that all of this when in a tired stupor I seriously considering telling all the mothers at Amber’s dance class to go to hell and while you are at I hope you slide down a perioxide laden pole with a raging fresh cut on your ass.  I swear I just wanted out of that hell of chaos and screaming girls.  I needed the rain to stop, for Sun to sleep and Sam, for the love of God already, stop doing whatever he was doing RIGHT THIS INSTANCE.

I thought that all this rage was because my husband kept me out all night on Tuesday.  I tend to get angry when I am sleep deprived.  As evidence I present the entire first year of Sam’s life.  We were back to regular date nights, which were put on hiatus for sickness and up the butt scopes (not mine or hubby’s).  We enjoyed a nice dinner and then took in a good movie, but George had some work to do.  I, generally, don’t mind when I have to accompany George on business.  However, when it is after midnight and you have to go to a seedy part of town, that loving wife crap turns into an every man for himself mentally.  I was ready to run the moment the shit went down.  Now, in my mind this is a seedy part of town, in the minds of others it is the 200 block of Royal street, where right next to the fancy antique shops there are the skankiest strip clubs in town.  One is open and brings in the upper crust of society during the day and the other has people walking around that you wouldn’t want to meet in church.  I will let you decide which is which.  Usually if it is dark and lightly populated I do not feel safe at all.  So in my mind things could go very bad, but in George’s mind it is just another day at the office.  Before anyone starts to think that we are in the flesh business, we aren’t but some of our clients are.  Just don’t ask, because I am not willingly to tell you.

But then I woke up today and had the same feeling.  I mean I had enough sleep.  Woke up at a later time than usual, but still was on time, so life should be great.  Oh no it wasn’t, I look around and the same stuff that has been here since I married George, since we moved into our house, since we had our kids were too much for me.  I think this is my seasonal condition.  Spring has flown by, summer is heating up and the humidity is smacking me in the face like a cold wet brick every morning.  (Get ready for all those posts about how hot it is.  Hey, if the northerners get a pass on the snow then us southerners get a pass on the heat.)  While the North would love for a little sign of spring, ours has gone and I am dreading summer.  Summer brings a little girl that complains all the time about being bored, a little boy very upset for having his older sister in his presence constantly  and me not having much of a break from their battles and whines.  It, also, brings tax season.  Your tax season may end on April 15, ours last until October 15.  There are check registers that I have to enter, because as soon as I enter that last entry of Dec 31 I can never seem to remember to do it daily, weekly or monthly again.  So I am left entering an entire year of purchases in the course of a week and wondering what the hell was that entry for and why am I buying so much shit from Target.  Then there is the impending doom that hovers our me of the BIG ARGUMENT.  The one where George is pissed because he doesn’t understand my categories and where I am simply happy to turn over my end of the job.

Don’t even tell me, because I know the pattern here.  I create all this with my mood and am almost asking for an argument.  And yeah, that is what years and years of therapy will do for you.  It, also, helps you to mask it all a little better so that people really don’t see that explosion coming.  Like yesterday, when after the millionth time of Sam asking me to put together a half demolished train track system and me not being able to figure out how to fix it without starting over, took it apart and yell at him that if he can’t listen and play right then he can’t have it.  Of course, he looked at me like I had lost my everlovin’ mind and was wondering when the next train out of crazyville was leaving.  Don’t worry, if he can get over his haircut then it is safe to say that his 2 yr old mind has moved on to bigger and better things like cookies and locking little stuff pets into cages.  So it is all good.  

I just wish I can get everything I need to do done so that I can enjoy my downtime.  At this moment, I, not only have a check register waiting, but laundry, floors, meals and a million other things that need attention.  So I am warning the world please leave me alone.  If I say I am going to fill our your little radio survey and then mail it back to you, I will.  If I take time out of my busy schedule of hiding under the covers, to call you and let you know that I made an error when paying the bills.  Then maybe you can let the rest of the people in your office know that I corrected the situation and please stop calling me before I cut the damn vehicle in half and leave it leaking oil in the middle of your office building.  You would think that you can cut me a little slack since we HAVE NEVER MISSED A PAYMENT BEFORE.  All I am saying is please get off my back, there are plenty of monkeys already occuping the space and no more need to apply. 

Oh yeah, one last thing, I think I am going to take a little blogavaction.  It is just one more thing I don’t need to worry about.  See you in better mental times.

Blogger’s Remorse

Nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  That is what has been happening around here, lately.  We have been living our lives and with that comes boring everyday stuff that I am sure you don’t want to hear about.  Hell, I wish I could wipe my memory clean of the mundaness of our lives. 

Mainly, our days are spent with Sam running from playroom to living room to watch snippets of either Word World or Zoboomafoo.  Then I get distracted, because it has taken me an hour to get the word ZOBOOMAFOO out.  I give up and scream, “It is Spongebob Squarepants time”. The kids go nuts and I am guaranteed hours of little people glued to the sofa; eyes never moving from the TV screen.  Or Amber will get so frustrated with me that she will scream “ZO-BOMA-FOO”.  Because I am the dumbest person that ever walked the earth, because someone in kiddie land came up with the hardest ever word to name a kid show with a bunch of animals running around.  Imagine the smell in that studio.  

After all that, you can find me sitting in various places in the house with a laptop attached to me debating about a drastic change to a format that many feel is not broken  (Really, do I need to be involved in this high school bullshit?  Not really.) or the state of Obama.  If I never hear about Obama, again, I would be the happiest person on earth.  Not because I am not a supporter (I am not), but because I am tired of it already.  Can the Dems pick a candidate, al-fucking-ready, and move on with the business of finding a new President? Or maybe we will all just implode from the pressure of it all and Canada will rise as the Superpower by default.  GO CANADA!!! (Don’t worry, I ain’t moving to Canada.  The snow and cold would be too much for me, besides I hear they talk kinda funny. eh?)

This is the most informed I have been in a Presidental election and it is wearing me down.  The information, the contradictions of that information, the dirt finding, the screamings of that network is bias, and the finding any piece of information that will drag that other candidate down.  Please. make. it. stop. And you do realize that it is all my fault?  I am trying to get information from many different sources, in order, to make a good judgement and end up just swimming in grey matter that resembles pudding.  I think I will go back to picking with my gut.  Hell, it is all a crap shoot, anyway.

And as a kind gesture toward me, if you happen upon a woman slowly following a man with 2 children hanging off of him, please under no circumstances ask him his opinions about the current politics going on.  He will tell you and the rest of the people that happen to be around.  Then I will have to take my finger point toward my head and imagine my brains splattering on the ground.  Archie Bunker style. 

So that is me and what goes on.  Oh but wait, it is going to get exciting around here in a matter of hours (15 hours and counting)when hyper girl is home for 8 DAYS.  I would like to ask, who is this Spring break for, exactly?  I say keep those kids chained to a desk and keep them working until they can solve the Middle East problem.  Then they can color a few hundred coloring books that talk about being nice to each other, just to drive the point home.  As for me, I think this Spring Break will kill me.  That is why I am planning many outings and hoping that we are still welcomed in the outside world when it is all over.  Look out New Orleans!  We are coming to your city and we are not holding back. 

I think I need a nap. 

Linkage

New post, finally, up at Child Style.  Come drool over some very pretty and expensive dresses for the little girl in your life.

Blogging, Blogging and More Blogging

How long have you been blogging?
I think I started in September of 2006.  Hey, you are lucky I remember my wedding anniversary and kids’ birthdays. 

What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?
Officially a Mom inspired me to start my own blog.  I was looking for something more than what I was finding on the Babycenter boards and blogging was it.

I have many mentors, but they don’t know it.  And they are so popular that I really don’t think I have to link to them.  That and I am too lazy and sick.

Are you trying to make money online, or just doing it for fun?
Neither.  I would like to make some money, but I don’t have the traffic or the time to Cre8buzz.  NOLA has been very good at giving me the lowdown on how to get more people to my blog.  The kids and hubs keep getting in the way. 

What 3 things do you love about being online?
1. Keeping my brain stimulated.
2. All the interesting blogs I have come across.
3. The mindless time I get to kill.

What 3 things do you struggle with online?
1. Being nice when people are clearly wrong with their facts.
2. Staying out of major debates.
3. That I don’t get much love from other bloggers.

Here are the people I am throwing to the lions:

Redneck Mommy, because I am here to torture her.
Queen of the Mayhem, because she needs to have a little mindless.
Queen of Shake-Shake, who I know won’t do this, but we all want to know how that crazy mind works.

And the Blogging Begins…

 

Before you start blogging, you must think. 
You must have a good topic to pull the readers to your site.
A cup of coffee sometimes helps to wake the senses.
(Shhhh….secretly, we have replaced Amber’s hot coffee with hot chocolate.)

Sometimes it is a long process.
Any good blogger knows not to rush it.

Then the idea hits.

And the actual blogging begins.

Once the blog post is done, the Blogger steps back to admire her work.

She becomes amazed at her wit and intelligence.
She gets it from her Mama.

Shock and amazement fill the Blogger and all is right with the world.
She braces herself for the quick anger of those that she includes in her blog.
Oh, how the artist must suffer for her art.

Some bloggers have a different approach.
This young man prays to the Baby Jesus for insipration.
While, his mother secretly prays that he becomes a priest.
They both need an in when it comes time to meet their maker.

The idea hits!
The binky helps, along with the baby Jesus.

Then we all realize that the boy is nothing but an evil genius and all
hopes of the mother getting into heaven on a technicality are smashed.

I am sorry to announce that these blogs are not for public viewing.  It appears that their internet connection has been secretly replaced with a crude connection to one source.  A source that neither the adults can figure out.  To satisfy the wee ones, I have set them up with a Word doc and told them that the world is loving their work. You are not missing much, Amber has written about cats, dogs, and our full names.  Sam just keeps turning the screen up and down.  What can I say, it keeps him happy.

She Knows Too Much, Already

We have recieved Amber’s laptop, today. 

She was very excited. 

The first words out of her mouth:

“WOW!  Now, I can blog!”

Stay tune, all my true secrets will be revealed…as soon as my dumb ass can figure out a laptop that was meant for third world children. 

This just in, Amber’s first blog topic:  Changing my brother’s diaper.  I am sure it will be riveting.