This past Sunday Evie turned the big 0-2. I am not big on planning parties. I never know what to serve or who to invite or if there should be games or any of the other million and one questions that SoHubby throws at me when thinking about one of the kids’ parties. Around age 7 I am burnt out and simply go with cake and the kid’s favorite meal.
Since Evie is only 2 yrs old I needed to put forth some effort, so I decided to go kind of generic. Her theme was pink and lavender. Sure I could have gone with Princesses, Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Winnie the Pooh, etc, etc, etc, but since Evie was being tight lipped on what theme she really wanted I made the decision that was easier for me. I know I am a selfish. As an added bonus I thought it would be cool to have a candy buffet. Then I made the most crucial misstep of all in planning this party, I asked for advice on the trusty Babycenter Bargain Hunter’s Board.
No there are no bargains on this board. Well, not many. I will give you a brief history. When I started on the board there were tons of bargains. Like everything in this world bargains run in cycles. I probably joined somewhere around Christmas, which as you can guess bargains are abundant. Then you have the after Christmas sales. And as that Christmas dinner you had it becomes too much; for the stores and for the customers. Hence a big gaping lull on the BHB. What? Do you expect us to put down those laptops and pay attention to our kids. Pshaw! So to keep the board going OT (off topic) posts started showing up. That lead to drama. And now we are known for straight talking drama. Since the big switch there have been other boards vying for top spot of bringing the drama, but if you want to feel like a complete and total fail as a parent just go on over to the BHB. No wonder I spend most of my children’s lives on it.
Here is my thread that caused much drama. To save you from reading all those pages of telling me what a horrible baby killer I am, I will summarize it for you. Basically, how dare I not warn parents of the children I invite, because “I” would never allow my child to go to a party like THAT! Or my favorite “I hope you know CPR, because you are going to need it.” Matter of fact we had 2 nurses at the party. We called them Mawmaw and Nana. Instead of answering my request of any advice I was bombarded with snarky responses about how I am going to kill children and to make sure to keep them away from deflated balloons and swimming pools. The thing is that the ones who told me, “Hey you might want to rethink the jawbreakers” early on in the thread got me to change to another candy which I mentioned in the thread. However, these ladies never miss a chance to drive a point home.
So I dubbed Evie’s party “The Death Party”. I thought about having an ambulance or coroner near by. Nah, there was already a paramedic there, we call him Pawpaw, and a cop down the street. I am sure that would be good enough. And as with most of the parties, I plan to take tons of pictures and fail. I am either putting things out, talking to guests, making sure children aren’t dying in a corner somewhere, and running my husband all over kingdom come for things that I should have bought more of. But here are the few pictures that I did take:
Here we have the Death Buffet. Look at all that death just laid out for any innocent child to come along and grab a bit of it. I would like to say that the adults were the first ones to dive right into my jar of M&M’s. The kids went off to the playroom.
As you can see in the front there to the left of the Death Buffet, I have a small fruit and cheese tray. OH! MY! GOD! What is that right there? Is it? NO, it can’t be! Oh yes it is, a bowl of caramel to dip your apples in. The empty space was for the heartattack chicken, aka Raising Cane’s along with Cane sauce, of course. That is what SoHubby had to run out and get more of, because you know we all love a good heart attack down here.
And the worst offender of all: THE BIRTHDAY CAKE!! How dare I not warn those parents that there would be a fluffy, moist, creamy birthday cake at this birthday party for a 2 year old? I really should have my head examined. After the cake was cut, I lined the kids up for the ultimate punishment. I handed them a favor bag and told them to take as much of the candy as they wanted. I did, according to the oath I took when joining the BHB, did ask the parents first if it was okay. Even some of the parents took some candy home. My Jedi mind trick must have worked on them, too. Death for all!!!
(And NO! The cake doesn’t say “Happy Birthday, EVIL”. I am not that warped. It says Evie.)
Look, I want my kids to be healthy, but have learned, long ago, to remove the stick out of my ass. It tends to lead to being more flexible. I have no problem with parents not letting their kids have candy. I, on the other hand, can’t live without candy which means my kids will have it on occasion as well. They better because the rest of the candy from the party sits in the middle of our dining room table. Don’t worry we don’t eat there, anyway.
What I learned from my candy buffet experience: Put wrapped candy into jars that the kids can get to. You don’t want them putting their hands into jars with unwrapped candy. Make sure there is enough for everyone, which means you will have to accept that there will be candy leftover. Enjoy, life is too short and the BHB will remind you that it is even shorter after you eat all that candy. I found the penny jars (the jars in front of the cake) at Target for just over $5. I found the other jars in a set at Target, as well, for $20. If you want the really pretty jars go to your local Michael’s. If you want color coordinated candy start early and expect to pay a premium. The M&M’s were the biggest hit. And oh, if you are not lucky enough to have medical personnel already invited to the party, make sure you print out a waiver for each parent to sign upon entering the party. Have fun!