I can feel it.
Very soon I will be without Twitter.
Do you hear that? It is the soft weeping of me having to give my full attention to my kids. (This line dedicated to SoHubby )
Why, you may ask? Well, I can trace it back to my first Twitter account that I trashed. Someone on the other side of the Internet said some nasty things to me and in a fit of rage (obviously against myself, because I am sure if the other person even knew about this it would only bring satisfaction). Don’t worry I am over it and if I would have just listened to that small logical voice way in the back of my head I wouldn’t be where I am now. Unfortunately, my irrational, batshit crazy voice speaks way louder.
It all started months ago when I decided, what the hell I will do the system upgrade on my phone. I usually stay away from these, because 1. I don’t like change and B. they always screw something up. But I threw caution to the wind and pressed the button to agree to permanently scar my phone. My contacts weren’t linking up to Facebook, like before. I do so love seeing the profile pictures of my Facebook friends on my phone. Far worst was my phone was dropping calls, people calling me couldn’t hear me (the most frustrating thing to me in the world) and the damn thing took forever to respond to a command. You know a command like pull up my Contacts and call this person. That action shouldn’t take 3 minutes. Finally, after weeks and weeks of my husband screaming into the phone, “Hello!!! Hello! HELLO! Would you get this phone fixed!” I took my phone and all 3 kids to the Verizon phone. You know, because I am the smartest gal in the world.
Here is where I explain to you about mommy brain and how technology has totally screwed us. Let me ask you, do you know the phone number to your friend? How about your husband’s cell phone number? Better yet, how about your home phone or your cell phone number? If you do then you are doing ten times better than me. Since the invention of the cell phone and computers that remember everything for you, I have cleared that part of my brain for remembering all the Real Housewives’ names and cities. Maybe I can call one of them and they can tell me my passwords. When I canceled my first Twitter account, I got a gmail account, because in Twitter’s infinite wisdom you can’t have more than one account tied to one username. Furthermore, once you cancel that username you can no longer use that email account EVER AGAIN!! You know the one you have had since the early 90′s and the one you actually remember the password to? So I only use the gmail acct to see who has started following me and who sent me a direct message. I never used it for anything else and therefore have no proof, at least to the computer, that I own this account. You see where this is going, right? I only checked my gmail on my phone, who never asked me for my damn password. Once you put it in that’s it, you are set for life, until you need a hard reset on your phone and it’s brain is completely erased, therefore leaving you in the middle of Verizon with 3 cranky kids and a single tear running down your cheek. There I was with the Verizon associate asking me where I went to high school, which I got wrong according to gmail, and for any other proof that I, in fact, owned a gmail account that bares the same username of my AOL email account. *sigh* You see my frustration.
I have to ask why such the tight security for gmail and Twitter accounts. Maybe there are some out there that need this level security, but I am a simple SAHM that just needs a Twitter fix throughout the day to drown out the complaints of my meanness from my kids. Basically, this high level security has protected my accounts from ME. If I had any computer knowledge whatsoever, I would have been able to hack (are we still using this term?) into my accounts and had this problem fixed. Right now, my only options are to prepare myself for when my computers and phone have their brains erased and no longer remember my passwords or go with my new gmail account, which lies blank for the moment, to make a new Twitter account. That would mean I would have to refollow my current Tweeps (the people you follow on Twitter) and hope that they are not so pissed that I am so stupid that they have to follow me again because I can’t remember a word that I came up with all on my own. And of course you know if this was some how condensed down to 140 characters on Twitter the hashtag would be #newworldproblems. (I would use #whitegirlproblems, because it seems to be the popular one, but frankly I find that racist. That’s right I said it. Like other ethnic groups in America or in the rest of the modernized world don’t have these problems?)