SoHubby and I have been married for 11 years this October and have known each other for 13 years. You would think that we would understand each other, maybe even finish each other’s sentences. You would be wrong.
Since Sam has, finally, started his own activity (something that SoHubby is really happy he is doing) SoHubby has asked what is our schedule. This is not to say that he is not interested in Amber’s activities, but her schedule has been about the same for about a year. We are, also, coming to the end of the school year so things are changing once again. One thing about kids change is constant.
I tried to explain the schedule, but it didn’t get through. I will say my fault in this was giving too much information. Instead of just giving the schedule for right now, I tried to give the schedule for the summer. That is difficult, because Sam will start Cabbage ball in mid June which will mess with Tae Kwon Do which just made matters worse. Once I realized my mistake I thought I would make it simple by pointing to the dry erase calendar I bought specifically for this purpose. It still didn’t get through. The calendar, in SoHubby’s words, is hard to understand. I guess it is because the writing is small (I only have so much room to work with) and I put the things that happen on a weekly basis at the bottom with the day and time next to them. The kids and I seem to get it, but SoHubby didn’t. So to help him understand it, he took a pad and wrote the days of the week and then wrote what happened on those days.
All of this got me thinking. We have always had a problem with communication. I won’t blame either side. SoHubby says things and they are clear in his head, but I am left confused. I say things that are totally clear to me and the rest of the free world, but leave him confused. I will fully admit that SoHubby will say things and I will promptly forget them. Hey, have you seen our schedule? I have a lot going on. I just wonder if this goes on in other homes or after a decade together people just understand their mates better than we do?
I, also, wonder if I really want someone that knows what I am thinking. I often say that my head is a scary place to be. I know I definitely don’t want to be privy to what is rattling around in SoHubby’s head, because what he tells me is scary enough. It will be interesting to see how our communication has developed after we have been together over 20 years.
After 16+ years married and 5 years dating before that, I will say that our ways of communicating are still very, um, different We often have some of the same issues with necessary information being forgotten, not understood, etc. It is a constant work in progress around here, and I’m guessing it always will be. But, it is always interesting!