I don’t care what anyone says parenting toddlers is a cake walk compared to pre-preteen. If you couldn’t guess from that statement I am having trouble with the oldest of our brood. When I get into these predicaments with Amber, I try to think back to when I was her age. That doesn’t really help. While I had angst in my childhood, you can’t compare the two.
Amber has a lot on her plate. Not only is she continuing with dance and gymnastics, but we have added cheerleading. And with her brother coming to an age where he can join in on some extra activities, we are running Monday through Thursday. The majority of that is Amber’s stuff, which sucks for the younger 2. To soften the blow I ply them with ice cream on a regular basis, so I doubt there will be any real animosity between them. I was worried about adding cheerleading to the mix. This is not the run of the mill rah-rah at football games. I don’t think the school even has a football team. We are talking competition. And before you think we will be at Spirit camp or backstabbing at national championships, this is Catholic school competitions. Which really means the underlying thought is kick their ass, but on the forefront it is everyone is doing a good job and we all love each other. Okay, I am pulling that out of my ass, because we haven’t been to a competition, yet, so I am not sure what the mood will be.
Cheerleading is 2 days a week and 2 hours a day. Not too bad, except when you add on dance, gymnastics and 4th grade. As Amber’s teacher told us during a parent’s meeting at the beginning of the year, this is a transition year for the kids. They are entering the world of big kids, but haven’t fully left the world of little school kids. They are dipping their toes into the sea of hormones, but yet still play tag in the school yard. So basically you have an innocent tag game that at any moment can become carnage. Yay!
I was pleasantly surprised when we had our first couple of meetings for cheerleading. Everyone was nice and accommodating. All the girls, who tried out, were accepted. There was no drama, like in the movies. There was no crazy moms scoping out who they wanted to ice out of the picture. Nope, it was new moms and current moms helping each other out. Then school started and so did the homework. Here is where the drama lies. There have been girls missing practices. First, I never noticed, then came the email. The email that reminded us that it was important for all the girls to attend all the practices. Then there was the email from a mother that reminded us that it hurt the girls, who showed up for practice, when they can’t practice the full routine, because they need all the girls. I read all the emails and listened to the whispers of homework remediation. I asked Amber about homework remediation and was assured that she had only missed 3 homework assignments. I imparted on Amber how important it was to do her homework. Then there was the announcement at practice that it seemed many girls were missing practice because of homework remediation (detention) and it was important for the girls to do their homework so they could make practice. As I was wiping my brow from relief that we were not included in that announcement, Amber approached me and told me that she had homework detention. Everything stopped! Huh? Wha? Are you freaking kidding me? What the hell happened?
Let me stop here for a moment and explain what happens when I get the shock that my kids are not the delightful little angels I expected them to be. My mind races. I ask myself what am I suppose to do in this situation, especially in public with other parents watching me. And basically, I throw everything, but the kitchen sink at my kids. NO TV! NO PLAYDATES! NO DINNER! NO HAPPINESS…EVER! Which in hindsight always seems a bit much. I am just at a loss as to what to do. Today was no different and especially hard.
At each practice the coach hands out the team’s mascot, a stuffed Jaguar dressed in the team’s uniform, to the member who has improved the most. That member gets to hold on to the mascot all week. Amber had been looking forward to the day that she got to bring home the mascot. And today was that day. As I sat by the stage expecting him to throw the mascot to anyone, but Amber, I was so happy to see that she had gotten it. It was exciting and thrilling, because along with that little stuffed jaguar was the mention that Amber had improved as a flyer (The girl they throw in the air. The plight of the smallest on the squad). This must have meant that she was getting confident at being flung into the air. So when she approached me and told me she got homework remediation, I knew what had to be done. I told her that she couldn’t bring the mascot home and would have to turn it over to the moderator. *sigh* This parenting gig is hard, yo! I really didn’t want to do it, but as I searched my brain I just knew it was not fair for her to get the mascot when she would be missing 2 practices next week thus making the whole squad suffer. So she cried as she handed over the mascot. The most heartbreaking is that it will be a long time before she will come up with another chance to take the mascot home, because we have to count this week as the week she was chosen. Dem the breaks.
On the way home, I second guessed myself and knew that there would be someone somewhere that would tell me I was completely wrong, but I knew it had to be done. When disciplining Amber she needs a jolt. She needs something that signals to her that this is serious and makes her remember. Considering I can ask her to bring down her clothes only to find her going through her closet to find a jacket and has completely forgotten about bringing down the laundry, I need to make a big impact. There are other punishments that have gone along with this incident, but I think not being able to bring home the mascot is one she will definitely remember. Each week she talked about getting to bring home the mascot one week. Frankly, I never knew handing out punishments would be tough on me. It is just hard to see her disappointed. However, I know in the long run she will learn from it.
Of course, I have learned from this as well. I have learned that I must be on top of Amber. I must read every assignment, sign papers that maybe don’t necessarily need signing (2 of her missed homework assignments were because I didn’t sign certain papers, even though I know I signed them but can’t prove it, now), go over her assignment book several times and require her to bring home every book so she can’t say that she forgot. I have, also, learned that I can’t let my guard down. I thought Amber had this homework thing down. Apparently, just as much as 4th grade homework sucks for her, it sucks for me, too. Nights at the Old Homestead are going to be more chaotic than before and I don’t know if my sanity can take it. This means pushing bedtime to 8pm, which means mornings are going to be a beast. And once again, I am smacked in the face with the realization that once you get over one parenting hurdle there is another one waiting for you just around the corner to trip, point and laugh at you while you struggle to regain your footing. And to think I get to do this 2 more times. I will either collapse from exhaustion or cross the finish line a champion. I am merely praying to make it out alive.
