I am sure every mother of small children has a similar story, but here goes mine.
The kids are out of school for Spring Break and Friday is my regular grocery shopping day. You might say that if I knew the kids will be off of school on Friday I would wait and go a day earlier or wait until SoHubby can watch the kids. And I would pat your wittle head and tell you how naive you are. I could give you all the reasons why I can’t change my shopping day, but I will cut it short and say, IT WON’T WORK and PEOPLE WOULD STARVE! Another tidbit to add to this is that I have been watching Extreme Couponing. Combine that with $3.69 a gallon gas and I have lost my DAMN mind. The short of that is I have been trying to save money. Long gone are the days of putting anything in the cart and just paying whatever the cashier says at the end. Now are the days of adding as we go, watching carefully what goes into the cart, telling the kids NO about a million times, and saving as much as humanly possible without warranting a TV crew to follow me around.
Today was the big day, the kids have been saving their allowance and they decide they were going to spend it. Maybe Amber decided when I told her that I saw a Lemonade Mouth CD at Target and maybe Sam decided just because whatever Amber does he has to do. Oh, the life of a younger sibling. Can’t wait for when there are 2 of them. Amber was pretty easy, except for her constant interference with my parenting. She seems to think her name is Mommy, Jr, instead of older sister. Sam, on the other hand, had a major case of indecision. Something that just might run in SoHubby’s family. We walk down the toy aisle and Sam makes a decision on some spider thing. Whew, that was quick and painless. Moving onto the last little bit of shopping I need to get done and we are out of here. While making sure I had the right size diapers, Sam gets a look on his face and says, “I don’t want this.” There it is. The indecision begins and there goes my sanity. So we go back to the toy aisle. Sam puts the other toy back and I ask him what does he want. His big problem is that he wants everything, but only has $13. He can’t decide. SHOCKER!! I get fed up and go to find Evie some shoes. His whimpering wears me down and I decide that the third time he will certainly be able to make a decision. Oh how people never learn, no matter how many times they get burn. It will end with Sam crying in the middle of the toy aisle and me saying that he can wait until his Daddy can bring him. Why should I suffer alone?
We all pile into the Suburban to discover that we had spent 2 hours in Target. Not usually a bad thing. I compose myself and press on with the grocery shopping. Next stop Winn Dixie. They have tons of buy 1 get 1 free sales plus savings on gas. Not my favorite grocery store, but a girl has to make sacrifices in tough times. The trip doesn’t start off that great, because I had to wake up 2 sleeping kids. Never fun, but doesn’t last long. Although, I carefully look over the weekly ad online the night before and write down in detail the things I want, I still have to pay close attention, because things change. Have you ever tried to focus with 3 kids buzzing around? You might as well try solving the national debt problem. So far things are normal. I have told the kids that if they just behave we can be in and out. And they didn’t hear a word I said. I stop a few times to
nicely remind them yell at them about the rules and getting home faster to do fun stuff, like eat lunch and maybe a nap. The real fun begins at the check out when we are in full meltdown mode and Evie won’t give up the 2 packages of mini donuts. I get everything onto the belt when Evie stands up in the cart. Amber tries to get her to sit down, I reach over to try to get her to sit down and just when I think I have gotten her to sit down she falls over the cart seat into the back of the cart. No worries, her brother broke her fall. There was much crying and steam coming out of my ears. I inform the children that their lives are over and they will spend the rest of their existence in their rooms. And that is exactly what happened. I might have taken my sweet time putting away groceries while eating chocolate donuts (BWAHAHAHAHA!) and cleaning the house before letting them out of their rooms. That’ll show them. I never remember acting like these kids when I was younger, but I do remember many spankings. I will tell you when I figure this out.