“It will only be a few seconds without a diaper.”
It is never just a few seconds when it comes to kids. And no matter how fast you are the baby will always pee when she is sans diaper.
Just when you are feeling smug about teaching your children the correct word for their private parts, they will shout it out during a quiet moment while you are AT CHURCH!
-”Hey, Mom. You have a VAGINA!!”
The minute you have finished cleaning the house from top to bottom, someone is going to spill. If you are lucky, they will get most of it on them. That is as rare as winning the lottery.
After a long car ride with screaming kids, finally there is quiet and your song comes on the radio. This will be the time that your child has an urgent question for you. “Hey Mom, you know that thing we did that time we were at that place where we did all that stuff?” Your song has ended and you are confused and crying in the front seat of your car.
You are not allowed to have anything nice. Nuff said!
The moment your clothes hit the floor you are desperately needed to break up WWIII. You end up standing in your hallway nude, yelling at the small people while your husband shakes his head and tells you how you are traumatizes the kids. At least the boy.
The moment someone in public compliments your child’s behavior they turn into a wild rabid monkey that just escaped from the medical lab. Or Charlie Sheen.
Children will always walk in at the exact moment they shouldn’t. Applies to all situations.
There will always be one puker in the bunch. If you have more than one child, good luck when you discover which one it is and hopefully it is only one.
“I will remember.” No you won’t. However, you will be found walking around a room asking why did I come in here. Or wandering the aisles of the grocery store claiming that you knew what you needed when you walked in.
After a long day of keeping up with the kids and not having one moment to relax, your husband will come home and say, “Wow, it must be nice to sit around watching TV and eating bon bons all day.” On the bright side, you will have a ton of me time in prison.
Feel free to add your own in the comments. I know I can’t be the only one that has been caught by Mother’s Law.