Lately, Sam has been obsessed with dinosaurs.  Not just any dinosaurs, but BABY DINOSAURS.  We have been watching Land Before Time until my eyes bleed.  Although, we are confused as to when pregnant teens roamed alongside the dinosaurs or that could have been HBO’s fault for interrupting one of the shows with the movie JUNO, we still enjoy the adventures of Littlefoot and his friends.   (Damn pregnant teens are everywhere!)  And, of course, the boy has more dinosaur toys then any one boy should be allowed by law.  I will say that I like the dinosaurs more than the trains.  At least, I don’t have to break my back putting elaborate dinosaur parks together, with the exception of the Morphs that Aunt NOLA got Sam for his birthday.  And even those are a hell of a lot less complicated and less time consuming than those damn Thomas the Train contraptions, which I got him for his present.  DOH!!! 

When I got the email from the Audubon Zoo that they were having a members only preview of their new dinosaur exhibit, I was overjoyed at the thought that I would be the coolest mom in Sam’s eyes.  We were going to see some real live dinosaurs and he was going to think that was just great.  And, oooooooooh!!! We are so special.  We are members, along with about a million other people, and we would get to see the dinosaurs first.  Aren’t you just so jealous?  I mean not everyone can become a member of the zoo.  It takes a certain class of people, like, you know, humans of every walk of life. 

This was going to be perfect, because we had cancel our extra special trip to Shreveport, which devastated Amber.  Or it could have been the disappointed of not getting out of school early on Friday. Ruining her life forever, because “MOM, I TOLD ALL MY FRIENDS!”.  Why her friends cared if she got out of school early or got to swim at the ultra-exclusive Shreveport Hilton swimming pool was lost on me, but a huge deal to her.  To make it up to everyone, because you know those 8 hour drive with two children into the Louisiana sunset are so exciting, I had decided to plan an extra special weekend right here at home and the dinosaur exhibit was just the ticket.  Then we would go shopping for shoes, YEAH! And on Sunday we would barbecue and set up the waterslide.  Too bad we didn’t put in our request in for sunshine and pleasant weather in time. 

In the back of my mind, I remembered something about rain for the weekend, but PEESHAW, what is a little rain?  Well, we would soon found out.  And, of course, work got in the way, like always.  But like always we worked around it.  Even with  an exciting and unplanned trip to the bank with rain falling onto my windsheild, I wasn’t deterred.  I was going to keep my promise to my kids and we were going to see the dinosaurs, DAMMIT!! Oh the naysayers were naysaying, but I brushed them off, because I wasn’t going to be stopped by a little rain.  However, monsoon wasn’t on my agenda.  We pressed on to the zoo.  Just because it rains on this side of the river, doesn’t mean it was raining on the other side and, hey, there was always the chance we could beat it.  Uh, yeah!  No one better say I am not positive.

We made it to the zoo a little after 10am to find it packed.  I guess a zoo membership isn’t that exclusive, I mean even people out of state can get one.  Who knew?  We forged ahead, found a parking spot, pulled out the wagon, a must for any zoo trip, got the umbrellas, because I am delusional but not stupid, and was ready to see some dinosaurs at $3 a head.  Oh yeah, another perk of membership.  You non-member suckas get to pay $4, while us ultra-cool members get a whole dollar discount.  SUCK ON THAT!!!  Everything was going okay, until we saw the line.  Holy snikities!!  The signs lead us to the front of the exhibit, but the end of the line was about 20 miles away at the Sea Lions exhibit.  And like all the other brilliant people there, my husband asked if ALL THESE PEOPLE were members.  Uh, yeah, because the general public weren’t allowed in until noon.  See the power of benefits.  SoHubby looked at me like I was crazy, but I just plucked down a hard-earned $12 to see me some dinosaurs and make me the coolest mom, EVAH, so I pushed him down to the end of the line.  Then, wait for it….IT STARTED TO RAIN.  Oh, it was bearable at first and, bonus, it quickly peeled off the wimps in the line, oh but the monsoon was just waiting to be unleashed. 

Amber complained, even though she had an umbrella that covered the whole wagon, but OMG!! she had to hold it.  There goes my cool mom card with her.  I guess we should have hired a couple of boy servants to hold her highness’ umbrella.  I slightly complained everytime SoHubby tilted the umbrella slightly back or shook it (I didn’t get this at all.  Isn’t the design of the umbrella to have water roll off of it?) and I got wet.  Sam was the wettest of the bunch and not a word of complaint was muttered from his lips.  The boy was a trooper.  He might have even enjoyed it. The innocence of a 3 year old.  We made our way to the exhibit and by the time it was coming down by the truckload we were in the shelter. 

And now, I bring you photographic evidence that dinosaurs do exist and eat small children:

Before the rain and while waiting in line, we saw this large beast scooping out his snacks.

Yeah, we are, finally, inside!.  But what is this?
Manufactured humidity?
Could someone please tell the zoo we live in New Orleans and the last thing
we need is fake humidity.  No matter the effect they are going for.

Then came the time honored art of convincing the kids that no these were not
real dinosaurs and they would not eat them.
Amber unsure if her mother is telling her the truth or has finally found a
no fuss, no muss way to stop her whining.
Sam refused any pictures with the Triceratops.
Not sure if he had a “history” with them or if is just him not trusting his mother.

Progress!!!

Aw!!  Isn’t he cute?
Not sure why the baby T-Rex would be in a cage.
Frankly, I think I could take him. His mamma, is a different story.

Sneakasaurus.

Never know when he will strike.

NOW!!
SoHubby was trying to convince us that this dinosaur sprayed him.
While we were telling him he stood out in the rain too long and maybe his brain was soaked,
the dinosaur sprayed another passerby.
We reminisced about that scene in Jurassic Park and then got the hell outta there.

And just when you thought you couldn’t scare your kids, anymore, we come to the
Wild Kingdom part of the show.
This upset Sam, because in Land Before Time the leaf eaters NEVER get eaten by the Sharp Tooths.
Then SoHubby had to call the eaten one, a duckbill, which is one of the baby dinosaurs that is a close
personal friend of Sam’s.
Tears resulted and reassurances given that this is all just fake and none of this EVER happened in real life.
And I stapled SoHubby’s lips shut for the rest of our stay.

 

This freak of nature would be the last dinosaur that I would catch on film.
By the time we left the indoor exhibit, the monsoon had really gained strength and
I refused to put my camera through that hell.
Also, this would be where I show SoHubby up and tell him that oh no, this was not some
prehistoric alligator.  DUH, alligators haven’t changed much since they appeared on the earth,
millions of years ago.
Who knows if I am right, but no one argued with me, so I will declare myself correct and supreme
being of knowledge over all things dinosaurs.

Next up we would brave the small gift tent, along with the rest of the ultra-special zoo members, and decide if we wanted to risk drowning to get to our car or buy a plastic bag, at $2 a pop, and make a run for it.  Let’s just say that the dinosaur gift shop might not have sold a lot of dinosaur souvenirs, but they more than made up for it in French Quarter ponchos and dinosaur umbrellas.  We waded through the flood and found our car.  We were all soaked and forgot about the rest of our day that we had planned.  Of course, the rain stopped as soon as everyone was buckled in and I started the car.  CURSE YOU UNIVERSE!!!