The Crumbling of America

Updated below

I remember very little of what I learned in college and even less of what I learned in high school, but I thought somewhere I learned that America was not only a democracy, but a capitalist society as well.  So why in the hell am I, and the rest of us, being raped on a daily basis by monopolies?  I have had my problems with Cox and basically think they are the devil sent to earth to drive me batshit crazy up the fucking wall, but now they have a new partner in crime,  AT&T.

Recently, I have noticed the house has become very quiet.  I soon realized that we are unable to receive phone calls in our home.  Odd, eh?  I instruct George to call the phone company.  He deals with them on a regular basis, so he should know how to get them to fix this problem, right?  WRONG!!  He calls them and tells them the problem.  I hear nothing about it and assume all is well.  I will never learn.  We arrive home, from Amber’s dance revue, to find a lovely note so well written it made Baby Jesus cry.  I figure great problem solved.  It won’t EVER be that easy.  So George calls them again.  They are set to come sometime between 2-6pm on Monday.  Don’t you just love that?  It basically says, drop your whole day and we will show up when ever the damn hell we feel like it. 

An AT&T tech shows up early within the time frame given and sets up to figure out the problem.  He checks the box outside our house, makes me do some kind of song and dance regarding unplugging and replugging my phone and declares that he is finished.  All is well outside the house.  Well, sorry my phone still doesn’t work.  “Well ma’am, it will cost you $110 for me to step inside your house and discover the problem.”  Uh, yeah you can go, now.  Later, George got upset because I sent away the one man in the universe that can fix his precious phone.  I politely explain to jackass my husband that I could not reach him on his cell phone to discuss this little issue of the shakedown, so I let the man go.

I ask George to call a friend of a friend that happens to work at said phone company and ask what they can do for us.  Well, it turns out nothing, but he could me that we were charged $85 to come out and determine the problem.  This is when my head explodes and the curse words start piling up.  I call AT&T and proceed to get connected to the 2 most uncaring people in the world.  Basically, there stance is “Your problem not mine” and have a fuck you kind of day.

The best part was when I asked to speak to a manager, the lady comes back and says he will call me back.  After about 20 minutes of going over my problem with my phone and my huge problem with them charging me to come out “just to see what the problem might be” and then never explaining the problem, I exploded, “NO, HE CAN’T CALL ME BACK. MY. PHONE. DOESN’T. RECIEVE. PHONE. CALLS. DUH!”  About the only thing I didn’t do with these 2 non-helpful customer service representatives was curse at them.  You know, because I am a lady and no matter how badly I get treated I will not stoop to their level of stupidity and unfeeling jackassness.

I spent another 30 minutes on the phone with this so called manager who has the power to tell me nothing.  He would inform me that if only I had the maintenence plan all of this would be taken care of free of charge.  Well, where is the information regarding this PLAN?  I was never informed that there was such a thing.  I am told that I should have been told about the PLAN when I got my phone service.  Well, I think if I was told about the PLAN, then I would have asked some questions.  I just always assumed that anything to do with my phone was the business of the phone company and they were suppose to fix it.  I guess that would mean they actually did something for their money other than give me the privilege of a dial tone in my house. (Please do not tell me about internet phone service.  We can’t use it and I will be damned if I give more money to Cox Cable.) Then he goes on to tell me that there is info about the PLAN on my bill, that is sent every month that I pay well ahead of time.  See this is where you don’t mess with me.  I have everything filed away and I usually have 2 years of anything at my finger tips.  I look through my entire bill and past bills, nothing about the PLAN.  I ask the man on the phone where on the bill…and that was the last I heard of him.  I am thinking this was the time wild boars broke into the office dragged him off to eat out his brains, because why would someone in customer service not answer a simple question?  I change my line of questioning, “If I sign up for the PLAN, can you be out here tomorrow?”  Oh look, wild boars didn’t carry him off, because he said, “Sorry ma’am (in case you are wondering, in this situation ma’am stands for bitch.  I ain’t stupid, I did it myself when I worked in the service industry), you will have to wait 30 days for the PLAN to be activated.” “Why don’t you send someone out, tomorrow, and I will pay the $85 blood money you already charged me and I will keep the PLAN on my bill for the rest of my life?”  “Oh we can’t do that.”  “How about if I cancel the PLAN before the month is over you just charge me your stupidly overpriced fee, anyway?”  “Oh sorry, I can’t do that.”  “Well, why don’t you give me the name of the CEO of your company.  I would like to ask him what he does with my money.”  Again, those wild boars busted into the office and began feasting on his innards.

My biggest problem is that whenever I call with a problem, it appears I am bothering these people.  I mean it is not like I am a paying customer or anything.  It is not like I am keeping their jobs firmly in place.  Hell, when I call and get India, I may not be able to understand them, but I understand enough to know they are not wishing my death because I called their center for help.  Well, at least, they don’t show it.  When I continued to ask this manager, if that is what he can be called, why I wasn’t given all the information by the tech or his company, he had no answer.  I told him all I want is answers, because it is not my habit of opening my front door and throwing money to the wind.  If it was my practice, I would be a more popular neighbor. 

Look, I know it sucks to listen to problems all day, but what ever happened to treating the customer with a little respect?  What happened to fake caring to get your paycheck?  I recently called a hotel we are going to be staying at, soon, and asked a few questions.  I literally heard an audible sigh like I had just interrupted her important nail filing and Cosmo reading, because I wanted to know about their Internet service and available safes.  I would just like to let everyone out there in these big companies know a little something: If it wasn’t for me and my dumbass questions, YOU WOULD BE OUT A JOB.  I know it is a sucky job, but at least work a little for the money and do like the rest of us did, talk about the dumb fuck after they have hung up.  I can’t tell you the amount of wine and cheese trays I sent to dumb hotel guests who yelled at me because their travel agent screwed up.  However, when I was super nice and even gave them something free, I felt not ounce of guilt telling everyone in the bowels of the hotel what an PUCKER ASSFACE you are and your room number.  Hey you get your satisfaction where you can.  Learn a little respect for the customer and how to properly blow off steam when you are done talking to them and then you won’t get me yelling at you for over an hour.  Because let’s face it, I am a stay at home mom.  I have no where to go and I am surround by whiny little humans all day.  I get my satisfaction where I can, too.  SHITFACE!!!!

I asked the hubs to take a look at it, since he works with phone lines a lot in his line of work.  After much huffing, puffing and general disgruntlement, he agreed.  I am glad to report that we, now, have a completely working phone at the mere price of 3 seconds of work from changing the line from the phone to the wall. 

I have decided to blame my husband for most of my grief and he has paid dearly.