Just Another Totally Normal Conversation Between Husband and Wife

Scene: In the car on the way home with 3 kids (ranging from ages 11 mos-6 years old). 

We pick up our conversation already in progress.

Husband: You know how you go to those inner city grocery stores and find something from the past.

Me: Uh, no. (It is funny how I don’t find myself in many inner city grocery store, particularly because I am not sure where the inner city is.) 

Husband: Well, I just found a Tahitian Treat.

Me: Huh?

Husband:  You know it is a fruit punch.  This and Big Shot pineapple soda are the nectar of the Gods. (Doesn’t take much to make my hubby happy).

Me:  Sounds like something you pay $50 for and then have someone say they will meet you around ”da cornder”.

Husband: [Insert an inappropriate comment for a family friendly blog here.]

Me:  I get what you are saying.

Husband: What is all that noise.

Me: What?

Husband:  What is wrong with Sun?

Me: Oh, that.  It is just another regular ride home on a Wednesday. 

Husband: You know I have a whole bucket of earplugs in the garage?

Me: Nah, I just turn the music up.  You know you just interrupted Poision.  That girl is poisioooon.  Never trust a big butt and a smile.

Husband:  Man, we have many blast from the past going on.

Me: Man, someone laid a load and it smells in here.  I have to open a window to breathe. 

Husband:  All you need to finish the look is a cigarette and a beer.

Me: Tell me about it.  I am one step away from Redneckdom.

Husband:  Maybe, a wine cooler.

Me:  Yeah, because I am a classy Redneck.  (fake Redneck accent) “You kids be quiet back dere, Mama is trying to smoke her ciggie and drink her wine cooler”.  Okay, let me go. 

Just another good reason cell phones were invented.