When a man asks this he better duck, because there will be some woman somewhere that will hear him and throw something. However, I have an answer to all those men that come to my site looking for the answer to this question, although, it is usually in the form of “why is my wife such a bitch”. One answer, MEN! Oh you heard me. Men are the cause for all the craziness in the world, although I will give about 40% of the credit to hormones, too, but mostly MEN.
I have a confession, I listen to Dr. Laura every afternoon, while picking up Amber. I use to listen and get ideas. I was a bitter, resentful, angry woman. Then I started listening for fun, especially like when she gets people who obiviously never listen to her. I settle in and wait for the sparks to fly. Dr. Laura’s way never worked for me. Her answer to any problem with your man is give him sex. While, you know what, I got stuff to do and I can’t be flat on my back all day. Funny, those kids don’t take care of themselves. Funny, I haven’t recieved my magically clean the house fairies that I ordered 5 years ago. I am hopeful. More miraclously, my husband still does the same insane stuff that makes me go all wiggy on his ass from time to time. You see the sex makes the blood run from his head and he can’t think, then he forgets what the problem was and we are right back where we started.
Why am I telling you all this, because while I love my husband I think he must be insane to do some of the things he does. You see I would think that countertops were made for food and other kitchen items. Sure we have one counter, between the dining room and kitchen, where we put unkitchen related items. However, I would think that a sane person would realize that shoes that were stomping around the French Quarter, in all it’s disease infested wonder, DO NOT BELONG ON THE COUNTERTOP. Especially, MY COUNTERTOP. I know I am just being a crazy woman, here, and Dr. Laura would tell me to meet my husband with a big kiss at the door and then take him to heaven. My plan, would be to take that shoe and leave a nice little reminder on his ass to not put them on the counter. But that is just me in all my craziness.
I guess that gun, in the shoe, could be a kitchen utensil.
I can’t tell you how many times I have had to go out and shoot me some wild boar to cook up for dinner.
Although, the French Quarter is filled with spice, I don’t want any of it on my counter.
BAM! Shoe up your ass!