Our Tour of Audubon Park

There are small parks near us, where I could walk and Sam could enjoy some nature, but I would rather take the 30 minute drive to Audubon Park.  Why would I do such a thing?  Well, while those smaller parks are closer and offer realistic drawings of penis and curse words on the play equipment, Audubon has a charm like no other.  And my kids should learn that stuff in their expensive private school, not in some common park.  

Come with me and I will show you:

Beautiful scenery to start our walk. The day was perfect, not too much sun, a little warm but not enough to produce a puddle in your asscrack. Then  I come up to a garbage can which was the headquarters of the leader of the squirrel gang that controls the park.  He watched me carefully as I threw away my trash.  I would have taken his picture, but he flashed his little squirel switchblade and  I thought it best to move along.  This moment was a tip off that we should watch our back, because the rest of the gang would be watching us.

They were everywhere, constantly watching and

hiding.  Waiting to make their move on our loot.

Who wouldn’t want our bounty of Honeybee cookies and our rare and valuable Thomas the Tank Engine toy.  I hear that those cookies could feed the gang for weeks, but the Thomas can bring much bank, YO!

RUN!!  We have been made.  Now that I have evidence of them, they decided to leave us alone for the rest of our walk.

Don’t worry it is suppose to look like that.  Why?  I don’t know.  What am I some kind of naturologist? I believe it is better for the gators to hide and wait for unsuspecting park goers to admire the green water or feed the ducks.  Just remember the ducks are a lure.  Don’t fall for it! You have been warned.

Look at those majestic trees. They create such a cozy, or as some may think gloomy, ambience with their hanging moss.  How they shield me from the blazing sun and push a gentle breeze through.  A big reason I like walking in this park.  Now, you see those 3 women.  I stopped to take this picture to get away from their yakking.  MY GOD!!  I came here for some peace and quiet not to here a bunch of old hens cackling away. 

When you grow up in New Orleans, you are required to climb on the large limbs that hang down from the trees.  I tried my best to get Sam to, at least, sit on the limb, but he was suspicious.  I had never let him stop to explore these large things, before, so why now?  One day that boy will be climbing those trees like the monkey I believe is in him.  He just needs a little time to let his primal urge out in a healthy and constructive way.  Unlike, now, where his primal rage comes out during a quiet Sunday Brunch.

 

We are now on the other side of the park where the squirrel gang has dimished in numbers.  I believe it is because of this Indian standing watch.  They know one move and they will be skinned and roasting on a spit.  Mmmmmmmmm, roasted squirrel.

Awe, the beauty of those trees interwining their limbs to create a canopy for our comfort.  This is my favorite part of the park and it is not because we are close to ending our 45 minute walk.  Me? Tired?  What do you think I sit on the sofa watching TV, eating bon bons and surfing the Internet?  Here is proof (GEORGE!) that I get out there with my children and experience life.  Albeit, I like it quiet and cool when I am experiencing life. 

If you had been standing for a 100 years, been through a major hurricane and had to watch golf all day you would rest, too.

Just a picture of a pink chair.  I like it, OKAY!

And the glue that holds the park together.  The golf course in the middle of the walking trail.  I have some resentment about this golf course, mainly because golfers think they rule the park.  Ooooooo, look at us we ride around in little carts and chase after a little white ball all day.  We are sooooooooooo important.

You see, I use to walk this trail everyday when Amber was a little baby.  As I liked the scenery at the end of our walk, Amber was done and would scream as loud as her little lungs could force out.  One golfer dared to turn and yell to me, on one such day, and demand that I shut that baby up.  I was a little more mousy back in those days, but now, I am a hardened stay at home mom that you don’t want to cross.  I am waiting for a golfer to make the mistake and declare that we are disturbing their precious golf game, because I would be more than happy to give him something else to worry about.  Oh, say, like a golf club up his ass.

That was our relaxing day at the park.  If you are ever in New Orleans, I strongly suggest you visit the park and take in all of it’s beauty.