NaBloPoMo Begins and so do the Posts About Nothing.

If you haven’t looked on your calendar, it is November 1st.  The beginning of the month long mandate of writing a post every single day, NO MATTER WHAT.  It doesn’t matter if you have anything to talk about or anything important to say, if you have signed up then you are obligated to post EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

Guess what?  I did sign up, so that means if you come here you will now be subjected to my rants, mundane daily business and if I am reaching at the bottom of the well a list or two.  You maybe thinking, nothing new there, but au contraire mon frere.  I have held back a lot stuff that I wanted to spew onto (into?) the Internet.  I felt people didn’t want to read about my mundane ramblings about the stupid cashiers at the grocery store giving me flack for bringing my own grocery bags, the muscle points I should get from pushing 2 kids in those stupid plastic car grocery carts or the attitude that some minimum wage earner gives me when I politely tell them to take their sack of slop and give me the slop I actually ordered.  Oh no, I was holding back, but not for this month.  November maybe the month where we give thanks, but it is also the month where we must pull material from somewhere.  And well, I don’t think I have to actually state where I will be pulling mine from. 

Now on with our scheduled rant and stupidness for today:

The kiddies were non too happy when I woke them up at ass crack morning here at the Old Homestead, because of their late night out trick or treating.  It seems as if their sugar high came crashing down and, now, they were surly little beings that had to be pushed, shoved and threatened to get dressed, eat breakfast then loaded up to go to school.  Oh, the price is high for the shortness that is the allowed fun around here. 

All is well as we drive to school, then I smell something afoot.  I am second in carpool line for morning drop off.  I AM NEVER second in line for carpool.  I sat in my car, but the uneasiness had began.  What is going on?  There is not the normal hustle and bustle for the morning school routine.  There are no ANGRY MINIVAN MOMS dropping off at the Infant center.  How dare we line up where we are suppose to when dropping off our kids and block you from getting to (insert very important, NOT, place here).  I say you got a problem wake up earlier and talk to the mom who take 20 minutes to drop off her infant.  There are no long lines of parents waiting to push their loved one out of the car only to speed off.  WAIT!  WAIT!  Have I done it, again?!  Have I shown up on a day where there is no school?!  There is no way, because someone would have told me!  Surely, the teachers would have made it clear that there was no school for day, LIKE THEY ALWAYS DO!  I make the hurried phone call to the hubs to see if  he can look online for me to make sure.  Of course, he is no help.  He is running around naked trying to get ready for a business meeting.  The one day the man has to leave the house before 9am and it was TODAY.  So I sucked it up, parked the car and marched that march of shame to the office.

I walked down an empty hall.  I swear I heard a faint, ”STUPID MOM WALKING”.  There were no teachers, no students rushing to get to class.  I think a tumbleweed might have even blown by me.  I walked into the office and there stood 2 childcare providerds in a darkened room.  As I adjust my eyes, I sheepishly asked, “Is there school, today?”  With a scrunched up look on her face, the older of the 2 said, “NO, only childcare.  It is parent/teacher conference day”.  I turned and slowly walked out of the office; totally defeated.  I had done it, again.  I had forgotten another important school date, because I refuse to plaster my fridge with the million  and one corpses of trees the school sends me throughout the year.  It is bad enough that we have the lunch menu on the bottom right, the novel of instructions from the home room parent regarding the protocol of holiday parties on the side and Amber’s schedule.  I must know where she is at every minute of the day.  Of course, if you ask me I will look at you with a blank stare, only to distract you with something shiny.  I need room for my Stewie magnets, baby pictures that I have no where to display and the Hemingway cat licking his ass.  Those take priority over the school calendar that is filled with stuff the older kids are doing. 

My energy drained as I drove BOTH kids home and their batteries seemed to quickly be recharged.  Amber had visions of watching The Nightmare Before Christmas all day.  Sam had visions of torturing his sister, therefore me, all day.  My visions of an afternoon nap and, finally, getting to watch the season premiere of Nip/Tuck leaked out of the side of my head.  I guess I will keep moving, today, to avoid falling asleep.  I will sort candy, fold laundry, clean floors, wash dishes, discover the resting place of little kitty pee-pee and comfort myself with dreams of watching the NEWS.  Maybe Anderson Cooper is back.  Thanks to the devastation of our planet, I have a new diverson.  Oh Mr. Cooper, how can one man make the NEWS so much better by just wearing a tight black t-shirt. 

Note to husband:  Does that answer your question of why I am falling asleep to the sounds of AC 360 everynight.  Don’t worry, the man has not appeared yet.  I am beginning to think that not only has global warming threatened the existent of the Polar Bear, but Mr. Cooper, himself.