you find yourself eating anything in a hidden corner, in the bathroom or out near the garbage in the garage.  Why would sane, normal women do this?  Because…WE HAVE KIDS.  Kids that no matter what you have on your plate they want it.  They have to have it.  If they don’t they will just shrivel up and die right there on your newly cleaned kitchen floor. 

I wasn’t on the recieving end of this parenting delight, today.  My dear husband had the joy of learning that whenever you put food on a plate intended for an adult the kids come arunnin begging, screaming and annoying you until you give them a bite.  Which will always leave you with an empty plate and you wondering what the hell happened.  What was on the lunch menu for today?  The kids were having carefully and lovingly made pinwheels.  Flour tortillias filled with chicken, matchstick carrots (my daughter’s favorite) and cheese held together by a large amount of cream cheese.  For their side dish some cucumbers that were sliced with love, which they goobled up 2 nights ago.  On the menu on hubby’s plate,  a big pile of steaming crap topped with fried monkey balls.  Okay, you got me, not exactly.  George was having leftover shrimp fettucine alfredo that I made 2 nights ago.  Although you would have thought I served crap topped with fried monkey balls when this dinner was set in front of my children for dinner, because the screams of horror and disgust could be heard all the way to Cocodrie.  At one point, the police arrived and arrested me for daring to try to serve such a dish to my sweet, innoence little children.  One would assume that this is not a dish that you would want to try and serve, again, to kids.  Oh, but that person would be naive and, well, stupid. 

Parenting tip 2:  Anything on a parent’s plate is immediately wanted by their offspring.  It doesn’t matter what it is or what is crawling on it, the kids will want it and you will give in, because we are old and there is just so much screaming and begging we can take.  I suggest you find a secret eating spot where the children can’t find you.  Or eat while they are sleeping.  If that doesn’t work then simply let your body feed off of itself until the kids are out of the house or you are dead.  Really it doesn’t matter which one comes first, you will be happy for the rest.