Thinking about getting (insert very expensive item here): When used by Southern husband, this means that the item has already been purchased or it is in the process of being purchased.
Most recent example: I walked into the gun store this weekend to give Southern Husband and his associate, Gunman, lunch. It was busy so there was not much time to talk. However….there was time to show me the new member of our family, even though I didn’t know it yet.
SH: I am thinking of getting this for the tax free weekend. (He shows me a shiny gun that looks like his other gun, maybe smaller. What do I know, they are all guns only varying in sizes to me.)
SM: Hmmm…that is nice. Sam stopped hiding in the clothes! Amber leave those handcuffs alone! Okay, I think I have to go, now. I think we lost Sam in the tactical pants. SAM!!!
Cut to to the present:
SM: Don’t think I missed that new piece of machinery in your pants. (Get your minds out of the gutter.)
SH: Oh, I told you about this.
SM: When?
SH: You remember. I told you while we were at the store.
SM: Yeah, that’s right. I am sorry I forgot my Husband to English Dicitonary that day.
I am ashamed that this tactic works. It is usually combined with my attention focused elsewhere. Either this man is a genius and should give lessons or I am the dumbest chick walking around. He has snuck a Tahoe, AR-15 rifle, many a remote control car, new computer and cigars the price of the GNP of third world countries. It is like I go to bed at night thinking our bank account is safe and sound only to wake up to find it violated and begging for mercy.
you know, a conversation at my asylum happened the other day where Big Ug told me he knew how much money I was going to spend before I even left the house. Apparently if I tell him an hour, he expects me back in two and the cash gone, if I tell him I’m picking up dinner, he expects me right at dinner with the credit cards weeping from abuse….
Damn if he isn’t right though…
This is how I get away with all my purchases. Well done, SH. Well done.